Arkham School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
by Jester-and-Candles
Summary: The Arkham Rogues have a new home... Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Will Harry, Ron and Hermione take to their new professors? And where's Batman and Voldemort in all this? WIP, on haitus.
1. The London Insane Asylum

**Arkham School of Witchcraft and Wizardry **

**Summary:** The Arkham Rogues have a new home... Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Will Harry, Ron and Hermione take to their new professors? And where's Batman and Voldemort in all this?

**Genre: **Crossover/ Adventure/ Humor

**Rated: **K+

**Disclaimer: **Harry: I am Batman! runs around

Bruce: No, I AM!

Harry: How can you be a superhero if you don't have any powers? waves wand around.

**Bruce:** glares and hits Harry over the head stupid people...Oh, and by the way...neither of these two girls owns me or..this pathetic guy. I am owned by DC comics and Warner Brothers, and he points to Harry is owned by J.K. Rowling (I would've killed him off during book one..page one), all of her publishers, and Warner Brothers Studios. (That goes for all the other people in this too!) ((except OCs))

* * *

**Chapter 1: The London Insane Asylum**

Arkham Asylum was buzzing with anticipation. Word was circulating through the inmates about a "vacation" for many of the high security prisoners.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" a young doctor commented while placing a large stack of files on the desk of Dr. Bartholomew, head of Arkham Asylum for the criminally insane.

"I feel we have no choice," Bartholomew picked up the top file, which read "Oswald C. Cobblepot- The Penguin". "I believe that maybe there will be some new method that can help all of these pour souls."

Bartholomew spread the folders along the length of his desk. 'Harvey Dent- Two Face', 'Pamela Lillian Isley- Poison Ivy', and 'Jack Napier- The Joker,' were just a few of the names.

"If you don't mind my asking, doctor, but where are they being sent?" the young doctor asked.

"To London Insane Asylum," he answered, "A doctor Louise Marvolo believes that he has found a treatment that may work…"

A long, blonde haired man knelt in a darkened stone room. Before him stood a man in a black traveling coat, whose back was turned to Lucius and his gaze was fixed out an open window.

"All is going as planned, my Lord," Lucius said, his eyes fixed downward at the floor.

"And our new, _patients_?" the cold, harsh voice put emphasis on the final word.

"They arrive tomorrow." Lucius answered.

"Good…" the man hissed.

"I must confess a certain curiosity of where this excursion will lead." The Penguin remarked as he and the other Arkham Rouges were ushered onto a huge, four-engine carrier plane.

"Errr, where are we going?" Killer Croc gazed stupidly around. He was being half-carried, half-drug by four large security guards. A large muzzle muffling his tranquilizer slurred speech.

The Mad Hatter was not being guided into a plane seat. "Ah, to adventure into the rabbit hole, to where will this looking glass lead?" He contemplated. His eyes were slightly dilated from sedatives.

"This is an outrage!" the Scarecrow was escorted between two guards. His legs were off the ground, kicking at thin air. "How dare you manhandle me, insolent fools! Cower before me!"

"Oh, give it a rest!" the Joker moaned. He had a splitting headache from the suppressants he had been given. "Sheesh, does anyone know where on earth we are going?"

"Maybe it's a vacation, Puddin'!" Harley Quinn followed behind the Joker in a standard straightjacket that all the other Rogues modeled.

"I see no one has bothered to notice the crew members," the Riddler said, taking up a seat beside Two-Face.

"And what does that have to do with us?" Two-Face growled.

"They're English," Poison Ivy answered quietly from her seat next to Harley.

"Precisely," the Riddler nodded.

"So?" the Joker was beginning to get annoyed. "What's your point, Riddles?"

"England!" shouted the Mad Hatter. "We're heading to England!"

"What!" was the chorus that cried from every other of the Rouges lips.

"But why England, if I may inquire?" the Penguin said from his seat.

"Oh my God!" the Scarecrow exclaimed from his seat. "London! They're sending us to the London Insane Asylum!"


	2. Return to Witchcraft and Wizardry

Chapter 2: Return to Witchcraft and Wizardry

"Dammit, Potter, get out of the aisle before I hex you to pieces!" Malfoy stated as he proceeded to push Potter against the wall as he strode past with his lackeys in tow.

As soon as Malfoy had passed, Harry had crossed the hallway and into his compartment. There he was cheerfully greeted y his two best friends. The first, a girl, had a head of thick brown hair, Hermione. The other, a boy, sported a head of red, this was Ron.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione said, her eyes filled with concern.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Malfoy's just starting his crap again."

"Buncha b-S if you ask me," Ron stated offhandedly. "Ever since his father's been cleared of all his charges, he's been walking around like he's God's gift to humanity."

"Has there ever been a time when he didn't act like that?" Hermione said glaring at the book in her lap.

"Well, half of last year he was quiet and hid from the rest of the world." Harry said indifferently.

"That was because Vol- _he_ was threatening to kill Malfoy if Malfoy didn't find a way to kill Dumbledore." Hermione said with an air of haughtiness.

"Well, _he's _been threatening to kill Harry for how long. That still hasn't shut Harry up." Ron said, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

"Thanks for that, Ron." Harry said lounging back on the seats of the compartment.

"Anytime, mate." Ron said, openly grinning now.

"We'll be there in a couple minutes. We'd better get changed." Hermione said after looking at her watch.

The three of them went to go get changed, and returned back to the compartment a few minutes later. Ron and Harry played a game of exploding snap and then the train slowly came to a stop. The three of them got off the train together, just as the skies opened up. Sheets of rain came down pelting them with cold droplets of ice. They sprinted to find a carriage that wasn't already full with other patrons of the school. Eventually they found on and clambered inside, grateful to be out of the rain.

The trip from the Hogsmeade Station to Hogwarts was uneventful as usual, and the three of them walked quietly up the steps to the large oak doors that decorated the front of the school. Walking inside Hermione slipped on a rather large puddle and fell onto her back. Harry and Ron turned around quickly and pulled her up from the floor, fussing over her to check that she was alright. Hermione looked oddly at Ron. Since when does he care about what happens? Usually he just asks but doesn't contribute anything towards it. This was going to be a very unusual year indeed.

After making sure that Hermione wasn't hurt anywhere, the three of them joined the procession making their way towards the Great Hall. Once there, the group of students filed in and separated, making their way towards their respectable House tables. When everyone was seated, Hagrid walked in, the first years following behind his rather large frame, all looking extremely pale and frightened. Once the first years were standing at the front of the hall and Hagrid had taken his seat at the table, McGonagall stood up to address the students.

"Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts. As usual, I advise that you follow all the rules in order to keep the points that your fellow classmates have earned for your House. We shall now begin the Sorting."

With those words said, Professor Sprout, teacher of Herbology and Head of the Hufflepuff House, walked in from the side room carrying the stool and a roll of parchment in one hand. In the other hand she held the Sorting Hat, which was still at this present moment. Sprout placed the stool in front of the Headmistress' place at the staff table. She placed the hat on the stool and stepped aside. After a moment, the brim of the hat opened and the hat began to sing.

_Welcome back to Hogwarts,_

_For another thrilling year,_

_Though I know we'll all have fun,_

_Our fate is not quite clear._

_The school may run amuck,_

_But I have a job to do,_

_So come and place me on your head,_

_To discover the House for you._

_If you are gallant, brave, and true,_

_Join the Gryffindors and march onto the field,_

_If you are cunning, sly, and slippery,_

_Become a Slytherin, where potential is revealed._

_If you come complete with knowledge and brains,_

_Your fellow Ravenclaw's shall lead you on your way,_

_If you work hard and are bursting with loyalty,_

_Join Hufflepuff where your friends shall stay._

_Ahead of us lies a word of unknown,_

_One in which the 'dark one' lurks, and so do his new friends,_

_They're popping up in places,_

_To decide this tale's very end._

_Be on your guard, stay on your toes,_

_And watch the signs that come,_

_Dangers lurk on this world,_

_To help rid away the scum. _

"Wow, that was different," Hermione said while clapping politely along with the rest of the school.

"It said nothing important if you ask me," Harry said staring gloomily at the wall.

The first years had begun to be sorted and everyone's attention drifted away. After what seemed like an eternity, McGonagall got on her feet again.

"I have some more information for you that I forgot to mention earlier. I would like to announce that Professor Lupin has come back to be professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts." There was an eruption of cheers from the students.

The Golden Trio turned to grin at each other. This was going to be an interesting year indeed.


	3. The Dark Lord and the Clown

Chapter 3: The Dark Lord and the Clown

The flight to London was silent. A nerving, considering the plane was filled with the most notorious super villains of the Americas. Scarecrow looked in sock while the Mad Hatter stared blankly out of the window next to him. Even the infamous Joker was silent, probably formulating a new escape plan for the London Asylum.

The Rogues were met at the airport by an old convict's bus. On the side, the name read "London Insane Asylum", as if to announce new lunatics to the whole of England.

Not one of the Arkhamites made an attempt to escape while British guards guided them into their seats on the bus. Each was cuffed to their own seat without protest. Once the final Rogue, Croc, was dragged into his seat, the bus driver who was a small, pudgy man with a mousy face and hair, took his seat behind the wheel.

The London Asylum was in the heart of London. It was a gray, stone building mixed in with the other brick and plaster structures, and all shared similar broken and dilapidated windows. The main entrance was set off a busy avenue on a two-lane by street. A double wooden door and an old rusting sign along the side announced they had reached their destination.

The bus cam to a halt and the driver scurried off to allow a man in a black uniform robe with short brown hair and a chiseled face to enter.

One by one the Rogues filed off the bus, all of them in shock or intimidated by this sudden change. For some who were unable to stand alone, mostly Croc, two large guards also in black robes, carries the weak through the entrance doors.

The Joker, last and most alert of the group, gazed out the bus to see a hooked nosed man with long, greasy, black hair checking names off a list. In a broken second story window, the driver's face appeared with a nervous excited expression. When the attendant reached him, Joker glanced at him. No name tag, no ID, not even a patch that said "London Insane Asylum". Just what kind of place was this?

The Rogues were guided into a large cinder block room that looked very much like the inside of Arkham Asylum in Gotham. They were left in a large open room with only a stage raised in the front of the far wall. A nurse, the only hint of a nurse was that she was a woman, with heavy eyelids, dark hair and a drawn face made her way through, unlocking the Rogues' shackles.

The Rogues looked around at each other, stretching and rubbing their wrists from the cuffs and straightjackets. This asylum was becoming even more unusual by the minute.

A lone door at the side of the stage swung open and a tall thin robed man stepped out onto the stage. He was followed by and aristocratic gentleman with long silver blonde hair and a look of something souring under his nose.

The Rogues turned from one another to gazed with a defensive suspicion at the two men before them. Especially the tall, thin robe, whose hood hid its owner's face.

"So, these are the infamous Gotham Rogues…" a cold high voice broke the hush. Long pale hands reached up to draw back the hood and reveal a red-eyed man with slitted pupils, a baldhead and snake nostrils in place of a normal human nose. "I must admit some disappointment…" He surveyed the group before him. "Nothing but muggles…" He said in an undertone.

Joker, once again the most arrogant and least jet-lagged, took a step forward. "Listen, snakey, who do you think you are?"

"My name is Lord Voldemort," Voldemort scowled at the Joker as if he was a child questioning authority.

"Well, my "Lord Voldemort", I'd like to thank you for getting us out of Arkham, but I'm afraid it's time for us to be going," Joker gave a mocking bow and gave the motion for the others to start to leave.

"I wouldn't advise that…" Voldemort eyed the only exit to the auditorium, where the two large guards, the size of Killer Croc, blocked the way.

Joker frowned and turned on Voldemort. "And just how do you expect to keep us here? I don't see any guns or Billy clubs, Voldie…"

Voldemort reached into his robes and removed a long thin rod of wood. Without a word, he raised it at the Joker.

Joker was snickering. Behind him the Rogues grinned at this self-proclaimed "Lord" Voldemort.

"This guy's a nutzo!" Joker whispered loudly over his shoulder, thumbing at Voldemort.

Voldemort gave the Joker a cold look and flicked his wand.

The Joker looked down at his feet and let out a shriek as he began to float upwards.

Voldemort turned his attention from the Joker, who was now levitating near the ceiling, and asked the Rogues menacingly, "Anyone else want to leave?"

The Rogues, however, were not paying any attention to Voldemort. Their faces gazed open-mouthed at the ceiling.

Voldemort's expression dropped to one of appalled bewilderment.

The Joker, completely over the shock of being lifted into thin air, had proceeded to do a backstroke around the room. His famous grin returned, he laughed hysterically when he caught the look on Voldemort's face. "Gee, Voldie, old chum, won't you join me for a swim?" He said in an uncanny British accent. "The air's just fine!"

Voldemort glowered, and with another wave of his wand, flung the Joker into the crowd of Rogues, taking out Killer Croc, the Mad Hatter, Scarecrow, and Two-Face.

"What a rush!" Joker staggered to his feet while the other pushed and shoved to stand. "Harls, remind me to get me on of them when we get out of here." He waved a hand at Voldemort's wand.

"No problem, boss!" Harley chirped, and gave an over dramatic salute.

"The riddle is…" the Riddler stepped forward, eyeing the Joker, who had taken the liberty of using Harley as a leaning post. "Why you have brought us here in the first place."

"Yes…" Penguin continued. "It does seem odd that one of your "abilities" would require our help…"

Voldemort hid the fact that he was taken aback. Despite the clown, some of these muggles might actually possess a brain. "And who suggested that I need any help from the likes of you?"

"Well yah brought us here, didn't cha?" Two-Face growled darkly, flipping his two-headed coin.

"Sure!" Joker regained his composure and joined in. "Why even bother bringing us here if yah didn't need us?"

Voldemort bored into the clown with his red eyes, hoping to break the Joker's ever-present grin. Joker, on the other hand, stared right back as if to challenge the Dark Lord.

"Well?" Poison Ivy stepped up to break the Joker and Voldemort's staring contest. Her voice reeked with impatience and her arms were crossed, foot tapping on the floor.

Voldemort looked cross and he did nothing to conceal it. He did not intimidate these people at all. It must have been a trait that came with being insane. He could have used the Imperius Curse, but then he was not looking to control them. "I have a proposition for all of you…"

"Oh, so you brought us here for a deal!" Joker's surprise was melodramatic.

Voldemort ignored him and continued, "I need you all to take over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and keep them "occupied" for a period of time…"

"Hog-what?" Scarecrow exclaimed, looking slightly confused.

"Wait!" Joker waved his arms as if to quiet the clamor around him. "You mean to say there's more of you freaks?"

Voldemort raised a bald brow. At least he was not the one running around with a permanent smile and green hair. "If that is how you put it," he said evenly, resisting the urge to kill the Joker right there. "So you accept my offer?"

The Rogues gathered in a huddle. It appeared they were whispering about nothing. A yelp that could have only been the Joker's escaped the crowd and he fell flat on his back holding his nose. Poison Ivy was towering over him brandishing her fists. "Try it again, fool, and it'll be more than just you're nose!"

The others broke the huddle and the Mad Hatter approached the stage. "We accept your offer."


	4. The New Professors

**Chapter 4: The New Professors**

Plates of meat were accompanied by bowls of salads. Mouth-watering desserts added a lively color to the rather unadorned tables. Even after seven years the trio was still surprised by the Sorting Feast. After several minutes of Ron stuffing his face, and Harry and Hermione eating at a leisurely pace, Hermione released a deep sigh.

"WassupHerione?" Ron said with a mouthful of food.

Hermione looked up him with a small smile at his complete disregard for his manners. "Nothing's wrong, Ron. I was just thinking. This is our last year at Hogwarts. The last time we'll be at the place the three of us can truly call our 'home away from home.' This year is going to be great."

"Except for N.E.W.T's," Harry interjected, his voice sounded winy.

"Speaking of which, I believe that we should all start studying this weekend." She reached into her bag and pulled out a thick packet of papers. "I have already come up with a study schedule up until the date of the N.E.W.T's, already scheduling time in for Quidditch practices," she said as Harry opened his mouth to interpose.

"You must be bloody mad! There's at least TEN MONTHS between now and then!" Ron said, taking on a tone that he would use if Hermione had suggested that Quidditch be banned from the Wizarding World as a result of too many injuries.

"All the more reason to start studying now, Ronald, instead of trying to overwork your poor defenseless minds in nine months time," Hermione said smiling smugly at him.

"You make it sound as if I'm expecting a child with all this talk of nine months and being prepared," Ron said soberly.

"You're not, are you?" Harry said looking over at Ron with wide-eyes. "Because if you were, I'm going to start running now." He said and made it seem as if he were ready to jump up at any moment.

"Harry! Be serious! How could you even think something like that!" Ron stated, staring incredulously at his best friend.

"Well, you never know these days," Harry said casually.

Hermione just rolled her eyes, some things will never change, especially her two best friends.

From out of nowhere, the glass windows behind the professors' table shattered and five softball-sized orbs came flying into the Great Hall, spewing purple and green smoke. All of the students, including Harry, Ron, and Hermione, Had moved to see what was happening at the far end of the hall.

The smoke orbs had rolled down the five aisles between the House table before any student was able to turn and flee the advancing cloud. Soon the green and purple fog engulfed the entire Great Hall.

Slowly, the smoke began to clear and revealed the hundred of students and professors frozen in place. Only their eyes, that all faced the teachers' table were able to scan the Great Hall. The heavy wooden doors of the hall slammed open with a crash. Maniacal laughter echoed through the motionless room.

A grinning man in a purple suit made his way down the center aisle of the House tables. Behind him, a score of costumed misfits strutted. There was a lanky scarecrow with a ghastly burlap face and straw hair, a woman dressed in a jester's red and black leotard, there was even a man that appeared to be half crocodile, half man and a black and white suited man whose face was partly a deformed blue while the other side was handsome and normal.

Following the abnormal cast of freaks was a collection of men and woman in black robes. Death Eaters, Lord Voldemort's followers, all of the students could feel it just by their dark presence in the room. The most shocking emergence, though, was a hooked nose man with greasy hair. Severus Snape was once the Potions teacher at Hogwarts until last year when he had killed the well loved Albus Dumbledore. Now it was common knowledge of his allegiance.

The purple man had reached the front of the Great Hall and was surveying the paralyzed crowd. He had green hair, a chalk white face, and a wide smile that seemed to be permanently stuck onto his face.

"Hello, kiddos!" He gave a large wave to all of the students and bowed. His voice and attitude went right with his clown exterior. "You can call me Headmaster Joker!"

Harry stared disbelievingly at the party of people that had entered the hall so unceremoniously. How in Hell did a group of Death Eaters this large just walk through this door, and who were the oddly dressed people who were following the clown-man. Harry began to wonder whether or not this was a bad dream, or perhaps just a trick played by the professors. He ruled out the latter of the two, there was too much dark energy floating about to even consider this as a trick. If he could move any part of his body he would have a deep crease in his brow at this present moment as he contemplated the situation at hand.

"Yah see kids," the clown-man who called himself Joker began. "Me and my pals have been invited all the way from good old America to come here and teach you guys some good old fashion fun… And hold you all for ransom, but that's a different story! And right now, I'd like to thanks the one you all should know, Voldemort and his good lackey friends, the Death Eaters!" Joker's smile widened as the Death Eaters spread out amongst the students removing them of their wands.

Hermione was on the verge of tears. Having Hogwarts taken over being taken over by Death Eaters and some people that she didn't know wasn't her way to start off a new term. She felt a hand move her robe aside and take her wand from the inner pocket of it. To her right, she heard Ron groan inwardly, telling her that they took his also. Looking over at the Slytherin table, she noticed that the looks in the Slytherins' eyes said that they couldn't tell whether to be happy or mad at the matter at hand.

Joker looked at his watch as the Death Eaters finished removing every one of the wands. "Oh, deary me! Look at the time! I do believe it's time to show the _old_ professors their new lodging! Deathies, if you would?"

The Death Eaters along with some of the costumed misfits approached the staff table and began to remove the frozen figures from their seats behind the table. Even Headmaster McGonagall was removed from her large seat in the center of the table and taken out of the room.

The trio stared in shock, the teachers were being taken from right under their noses, and they couldn't do anything about it. All of the students were beginning to wonder if the gas that made them still would ever wear off.

If Ron could've moved his eyebrow, at that moment he would've as he watched a Death Eater walk by Malfoy and give him a pointed stare, though Ron had no idea who the Death Eater was.

Joker looked around as the Death Eaters reenter the Great Hall without their charges. "Well that should do it. Now to the rules… As of right now, you all are permanently confined to this castle, and, being is that you all are without you magic sticks, I wouldn't advice trying to escape… My colleagues and I will be taking over you classes. We wouldn't want your little brains to shrink from lack of work now would we?" He checked his watch. "One final note before you all return to your dorms,_ or suffer the consequences. _Any rule-breakers will have to deal with me in my own _special_ way." He gave a honey sweet tone to his final words along with a devilish smile.

Around the Great Hall, students began to regain movement in their limbs. Slowly, they timidly began to file out of the Great Hall under the supervision of the Death Eaters.


	5. Potions Class

**Chapter 5: Potions Class**

Hermione groaned irritated as the alarm on her watch beeped consistently in her ear, reminding her that she had to get up in time for classes. She got up and did her daily morning ritual. Twenty minutes later she walked down into the common room to see the boys sitting on the sofa in front of the fire.

"You two are up early," she said sitting in an armchair.

"Is it time to get up already?" Harry asked, his tone vapid.

"What do you mean 'is it time to get up already'? " She said noticing for the first time that they were dressed in the same clothes they had on yesterday. She could tell because of the sauce stain that adorned Ron's shirt. "You two didn't sleep last night?"

Ron shook his head. "No, we were talking about how to get rid of the people that took over last night."

"So that wasn't a dream?"

"No, unfortunately it wasn't..." Ron said.

"Well, who's up for breakfast?" Harry said standing.

Breakfast went by uneventfully. Between the three of them, the trio managed to eat a piece of toast. Though they didn't eat much many glares were shot towards the teachers' table where the odd-looking people now resided.

Bells rang in the distance signaling that the students should be departing to their first class. The Gryffindors and Slytherins stalked off towards the dungeons. Though the two rival Houses were walking side by side, oddly enough no fights were initiated. All of them were too worried about who their teacher would be as the leader of the group slowly pulled the door open.

"Hi, kids!" the woman with the red and black jester outfit sprung out of the dungeon door. Her black lips were spread in a large beam and her arms were wide as if to give all of the Slytherins and Gryffindors a huge hug.

Zabini, who was leading the group, froze in his tracks at the sight of the odd woman. Usually he was a fan of oddities, but this was beyond weird. Cautiously, all of the students filed in and the leaders of the pack got the seats in the back. Slytherin and Gryffindor gladly sat next to one another just so they didn't have to sit in the front, closer to that mad woman.

The jester woman walked daintily to the front of the room and surveyed all the students who were in the back half of the classroom. "Well, I dunno about this but I'd much rather see all of your faces so I want the last row of seats to more right up here with me!" She patted one of the many empty front row desks.

Twelve faces noticeably paled as soon as the sentence stopped. Those who were trying to escape the maniac woman were now forced to be right in front of her… Slowly, stools scraped against the floor as the students made their way to the front. Ron noticeably gulped as he took his seat on the side of Harry that Hermione had not occupied. Zabini sat at the table next to theirs his eyes wide, as the person sitting next to him scoffed loudly, lounging back in his chair.

The jester woman's smile broadened. "Much better, see that wasn't so bad! Now, why don't you all just tell me your names and I'll check you off on my list? Why don't you start Miss?" She looked at Hermione, clipboard in hand.

"Hermione Granger," Hermione said nervously. "And who exactly are you?"

The woman looked slightly taken aback. "Oh, yeah," she said in a misty voice, "Well, my name is Harley Quinn. You guys may call me Professor Harley, Professor Quinn, or if you want to be formal, Doctor Quinzelle."

"_You're_ a doctor!" Hermione said incredulously. "Who would give you a job dressed like that?"

"Humph, it just so happens that before I met Mistah J, I was a clinical psychiatrist," She reached into her large jewel purse and pulled out a PHD diploma. "Now, if yah don't mind I'd like to finish with role, Miss Granger." She looked at Harry. "And you?"

"Mister J?" Hermione said sounding confused, definitely not something you hear everyday.

"Harry Potter," Harry said looking up at her briefly.

Harley checked off Harry's name without a second glance and continued to move on until she had checked everyone's name off. "Alrighty, then. Now, the Big V said we're not supposed to be teachin' yah all nothin' tah do with magic. So I decided that we're all gonna try something new!"

"Huh?" the class asked as one.

At the back of the room, Snape came in and sat down in the no-longer-occupied back row.

"Baking!" Harley cried with glee.

"Ah hem," Snape cleared his throat from the back of the room.

Harley's face dropped to look at the back of the room. "Hey Snippy!" She smiled with glee and waved happily.

The class snickered at Snape's new nickname. Snape glared at 'Professor Harley.'

"Excuse me? You're taking _my_ former Potions class and turning it into a _cooking_ class? Has everything in the _Muggle_ world rattled your brains? Potions is the art of taking ingredients and perfectly measuring them in order to manipulate the minds and bodies of others. _Cooking_ is a disgraceful chore in which one takes a variety of food items and throwing them together and calling it done..."

The class just stared. All of them knowing what Snape's temper was like if he was tempted

Harley looked hurt at first and then her porcelain face hardened. "Listen, Snippy, the Big Guy left Mistah J in charge and as far as I know he said that I can do whatever I want for this class." She put her gloved hands on her hips and stuck her tongue out at Snape.

Snape raised an eyebrow at her. "So you think that just because Joker is in charge that you can have a cooking class? As I tell all my _first_ year students, Potions doesn't use any silly incantations, so therefore cannot be considered the magic that my master was referring to."

Harley was getting annoyed with Snape for trying to steal her thunder. "Alright, bub, let's get one thing straight!" Her voice was no longer sweet and innocent but down right bossy. "I'm the one in charge of this class now! You got canned and if I say they're gonna be cooking, they're gonna be cookin'!"

Snape scowled, he wasn't giving up without a fight. "I got canned? No, no dear. I left to go serve my master, and, amazingly, I wound up back here"

"Hold it, hold it, hold it! Is there a problem here?" A voice chimed with a light wickedness from the door.

"Mistah J!" Harley squealed and ran past Snape, leaping into the clown man's arms.

Snape turned to look at the man without a word, an unpleasant look on his face. "Joker…" he said finally, reviewing the clown in his purple suit and green hair.

"What's the matter, Harls?" Joker gave a puppy dog look to the woman in his arms.

"He said that I couldn't teach baking," Harley pouted in a toddler-like manner. "He said that just because you were in charge I couldn't teach…"

"Awe," Joker gave an exaggerated sad look and turned on Snape. "Well, Snips, causing trouble in my school, eh? Yah know, you need to lighten up, dear chap. Put a smile on that face now and then…" With an evil grin, Joker tossed a marble-sized ball at Snape's feet that burst into lavender smoke that overwhelmed Snape, hiding him from sight.

As the smoke disappeared, a crazed laughter came from the doubled over figure of Snape. Snape threw his head back to reveal a huge wide smile that resembled the Joker's spread across his face. His eyes bulged from convulsions of cackling and fell to the floor. His body lied curled up in a ball from fits of laughter as he thrashed on the stone dungeon floor.

The students just stared. Never before had they seen Snape smile, unless he was up to something. This was just plain, unrestrained laughter.

"Oh, that's so much better!" Joker exclaimed letting a delighted Harley down to her feet. "Right kids?" He laughed.

Every eye in the classroom was on him, all fearful of what was going to happen next.

"Hmm…" Joker tapped his finger to his chin, pondering over what to do with the now unconscious Snape. "CROC!" He bellowed.

"What?" the large half-crocodile man appeared in the door.

"Ah, Crockers, my dear reptilian friend," Joker smiled. "Take ol' Snippy, here, to the hospital wing for me."

"Where?" Croc scratched his bald green-tinged head, looking lost.

Joker rolled his eyes. "You three!" He pointed to Harry, Ron, and Hermione's table. "Show Croc the hospital wing!" He turned back to Harley. "Now, Pooh, what were you going to teach?" Joker pulled a chair out at an empty table and took a seat, putting his black and white shoes on the table.


	6. Chaos in the Dungeons

**Chapter 6: Chaos in the Dungeons **

Croc slung Snape's body over his shoulder. Harry, Ron, and Hermione exited the classroom without a word. For a moment they stood looking at each other in the dungeon hall.

"So, err, you guys wanna-" Croc started dumbly, but was cut off by a huge explosion from the classroom.

"Harley!" came the Joker's voice from the other side of the door, along with the coughing of students.

"Sorry, Mistah J!" Harley's voice called as a black-gray smoke began to seep out the edges of the door.

Croc looked open mouthed at the door and shook his head. "Err, yea, hospital wing...?"

The trio looked at the door suspiciously, as if it would blow off its hinges at any moment. After a few moments they turned and walked towards the Hospital Wing. When they arrived Madam Pomphrey came bustling out.

"What is going on here?" she asked seeing Snape's limp form.

"Err, Joker got 'im with 'is laughin' gas…" Croc looked embarrassed. He followed Madam Pomphrey to an empty cot in the long room that made up the wing and dropped Snape unceremoniously onto the bed. In the corner a Death Eater watched him silently, hood covering the person's face.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione followed the man into the room, but stopped at the sight of the Death Eater sitting in the corner.

Madam Pomphrey was busy bustling around, collecting various potions to try to revive Snape.

Croc turned away, scratching his head dumbly, but he stopped when he noticed that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were still standing in the door. "Hey, aren't you three supposed tah be in class?"

"We don't have to be," Ron said, watching a bird fly past the window. "It's not like we want to be there anyway..."

"Of course we do, Ronald! We can't miss a lesson! What if we miss something important?" Hermione said turning to him.

"You were the one complaining about the teacher, and did you see the smoke pouring out of the room before we left? Trust me, we're not missing anything important..." Ron retaliated.

"Madam Pomphrey, do you have any idea where the teachers are?" Harry asked, keeping his voice low so that the Death Eater wouldn't hear him.

"Well, everyone knows their in the dungeons," Croc answered without a clue as to what he had just said. "They're not gonna get away that easy…"

Harry inwardly grinned. "Thanks for everything Madam Pomphrey." Harry said walking out as the lunch bell rang.

"No, Ron, we can't just walk down to the dungeons! They're bound to have guards!" Hermione said, attempting to restrain from rolling her eyes.  
"Well if all the guards are like that one guy we took to the hospital wing, breaking in should be no problem," Ron said looking at Hermione with an I-dare-you-to-try-to-prove-me-wrong look.

"Well, why don't we just use the Invisibility Cloak and the map?" Harry said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, how could we be so STUPID?" Hermione said standing and pacing in front of the sofa.

Harry sighed and went up to his dorm to get his Invisibility Cload and the Marauder's Map. When he walked back down the stairs, her heard Hermione and Ron talking still.

"Why are we going to use the map? Do muggles show up on the map?" Ron asked curiously.

"Well they probably won't, but for some reason Harry wants to use it, so just go along." Hermione replied.

"Well, sorry for using logic, but even if Muggles don't show up, our professors will, so it'll be easier to find them in the dungeon, right?" Harry said leaning against the wall of the stairwell.

"Excellent idea, Harry!"

The three of them set off, after several excruciating moments of trying to successfully hide themselves under the cloak. They got down to the dungeons without having any 'roadblocks.' Following the dots of their professors the three of them made their way down to the dungeon. When the got into the corridor of the room they were looking for, they noticed that two Death Eaters were guarding the door. Hermione started to say something, but Harry placed a hand over her mouth and motioned for her to be quiet.

Silently they made their way about five feet from the guards. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a dungbomb. After showing it to the other two and smirking, he threw it on the ground and a green, horrible smelling smoke filled the air. Needless to say, the guards fled from the scene.

Harry pulled the Invisibility Cloak off the three of them and, pulling their shirts over their mouths and noses, they pulled the door open and walked inside. The sight that met their eyes shocked them, somewhat. All of their Professors were chained to the wall in the old-fashioned shackles used in medieval times.

"Hello, professors," Harry said looking around at them.

Ron looked at her with a blank expression. "There were rules we were supposed to follow?"

"Yes, Ronald, the ones where we weren't supposed to move around unattended."

"I never heard that..." Ron said thinking of when someone would've said that.

"Obviously not," Hermione said, her eyes going skyward.

"They said 'em, don't worry about it..." Harry said to Ron, and then he turned to the professors. "How do you propose we get you out of here? We don't have our wands..." he said letting his sentence fall.

"I am afraid there is not much we can do, Mr. Potter," McGonagall replied her face was creased with worry. "But I do have an idea of who may be able to get rid of these insane criminals."

"Who _him?_" Ron asked doubtfully.

"Have you not been paying attention Ron? He's the reason that they're here in the first place." Hermione said, tempted to smack Ron across the head.

"Well, if he brought them here, he'd know how to get rid of them wouldn't he?" Harry asked Hermione smartly, then turned back to McGonagall. "Who is the one we have to ask for assistance?"

"In Amercia, Gotham City, there's a man known only as Batman," McGonagall explained in a hushed voice, outside a loud crash came. "I have heard of him over the muggle news. It's him that takes care of these muggle criminals, the very same that have taken over Hogwarts. You must contact him at once and tell him that the Joker and the other criminals are here."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Herimone cut in front of him. "How do you propose we get to America?

"We apparate of course. I didn't work that hard to get my license for nothing!" Ron said, stepping in before Harry and Hermione could make another comment.

From a corner came a groan. Lupin was curled up over his shackles. He looked even shabbier and ancient than usual.

"Professor Lupin?" Harry asked, worried about his friend.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, looking up out the tiny dungeon window. "It's a full moon tonight!"

Everyone simultaneously moved away from Lupin's corner. They all knew that in a few moments there would be a werewolf in place of Professor Lupin.

The professors moved as far away as their shackles would allow, while Harry, Ron, and Hermione ducked under the Invisibility Cloak and made to leave. None of them were sure if the chains would hold a werewolf.

Their escape was cut short by the slamming open of the dungeon door.

"What's going on in here?" the white a black suited man growled stepping into the room.

"Hey Two-Face, wait up!" Joker's voice preceded him as he followed the half-deformed man.

"Just because you're self-proclaimed Headmaster, that does not give you the authority or privilege to order us about like commoners." A stout man with a top hat, monocle, and umbrella entered after Two-Face. He had a long beak-like nose and his suit appeared to look more like a penguin.

"Sheesh, Penguin!" Joker strode into the room. "Lighten up will you? Besides, we're in control now…" Joker caught sight of the Professor Lupin. "Say what's up with him?"

"Y' idiots," Hagrid growled from the wall he was chained to by huge iron links.

"Don't y' know nothing' 'bout werewolves?"

"Werewolves? Penguin looked at him. "Don't be so preposterous. There's no such thing as werewolves…"

"See fer yourself," Hagrid nodded to Lupin's corner across from him.

There was a cracking of bones and the three had turned to see the body of Professor Lupin beginning to grow. Fingers turned to claws and a nose turned into a lupine muzzle. His small form elongated and stretched into a half-man, half-wolf state. A low moan came from the creature as it looked about.

"Well, what do you know, "Joker said off-handedly, "A real life wolf-man."

The werewolf snarled and lunged at the Joker, who let out a shriek and jumped into Two-Faces arms. However, the shackles on the creatures wrists and ankles prevented it from reaching its prey.

"Back you vermin!" Penguin fended off the werewolf with his umbrella. The chains strained against the wall.

"Bella!" Joker hollered, still in Two-Faces arms, as the werewolf Lupin smacked the umbrella out of Penguin's hand.  
A dark-eyed woman Death Eater raced in. Harry immediately recognized her as Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Stupefy!" Bellatrix yelled, wand pointed against the creature.

Red sparks flew and Lupin collapsed on the floor, out cold.

"Whew," Joker sighed. "That was close…"

Two-Face looked at the Joker and dropped him to the floor. Walking after the Penguin, his legs shaking.

"Was it something I said?" Joker looked after the retreating figures of Lestrange, Two-Face, and Penguin and then to the chained professors. They were all glaring at him.

Joker gave an awkward smile and hurried out of the cell.

After making sure their feet were completely covered, the invisible bundle that was Harry, Ron, and Hermione slowly make its way out into the corridor. They walked back up to the ground floor and went inside an empty classroom. Once there, Hermione threw the well fashioned cloak ungracefully off herself and locked the door, then proceeded to put a silencing charm on it.

With one quick look to each of the boys, Hermione sat down a top a desk.

"So, what do we do?" she asked somewhat demandingly.

"What'd you mean 'What'd we do'?" Ron asked, bewildered.

"How can you forget the conversation we had with McGonagall already?" Hermione asked, staring at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Oh, that. I thought you were talking about something else," Ron said, his face flushing.

"Well what exactly were you thinking?" Hermione said, arching an eyebrow.

"Well- you locked the door of an empty classroom, then you put a silencing charm on it and said 'what are we going to do?'. I'm seventeen, what do you want me to think?" Ron said throwing his hands up in the air.

Harry smacked himself on the forehead as Hermione's face turned the color of Ron's hair. "Can we please get back to the matter at hand?"

"Yes, of course, Harry," Hermione said after clearing her throat.

"So, do we go to visit this Batman character?" Harry said placing himself in a chair.

"Well, if I understand everything correctly, then yes, we'll have to go to America and see Batman," Hermione said looking over at him.

"America? And how do you think we're getting there?" Ron asked flopping himself down across from Harry.

"You do play Quidditch don't you? It's called flying, Ronald," Hermione said, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.

"The problem is, we have no idea where Gotham is," Harry said, a frown dirtying his face.

"It's called a map, Harry," Hermione said with a sigh, getting thoroughly concerned with the boys lack of common sense.

"Oh, yeah, my mistake," Harry said, a blush tinting his cheeks. "Well then we're going to have to find at least one more Firebolt, because we all know that Hermione isn't going to fly on her own, no offence. Then, Saturday night when no one will realize that we're gone, we'll sneak off to Hogsmeade under the cloak and then fly from there to Gotham. Sound like a plan to you?"

"I'm up for it," Ron said.

"The plan it is," Hermione said grinning.


	7. Rogue Curriculum

**Chapter 7: Rogue Curriculum **

"Okay, class," said a fiery red haired woman as she stepped daintily into Greenhouse 7 of Herbology. She had a small womanly figure, yet her attitude commanded an air of authority. She wore a green halter-topped leotard and matching gloves and boots that ended with thorn like spikes. Green eyes and tan skin gave her the appearance of a full-grown wood sprite.

The class of Gryffindors and Slytherins ceased their talking and turned to the new voice. A hum of anticipation floated in the air as every eye was on the woman.

"That's better…" The wood sprite said in a velvet dark tone of a true femme fatale. "My name is Ivy, Poison Ivy, that is. You may call me Professor, and today class…"

She sauntered over to a vicious looking Venus flytrap that was a devious shade of red and green. Razor-spiked teeth snapped randomly out at the nearest students. The plant let out a low growl like a cornered animal.

"We'll be learning about the Venomous Tentacula," the flytrap turned on Ivy at the sound of its name. "Isn't that right, baby?" she cooed and placed a gloved, green hand on the head of the fanged plant, stroking it lovingly.

The Venomous Tentacula purred and a smile seemed to spread across its jaws. It nuzzled Ivy fondly, wrapping two dark green tentacles around her knees in a child-like hug.

"What? You must be barking mad to tell us that we're going to be studying that thing," Ron said looking at the new professor.

"Are you kidding me, Ron? This is fascinating, no other teacher would've brought in a creature like this." Neville said eyeing the deadly plant with enthusiasm.

Harry muttered under his breath, "Hagrid would've..." and he left it hanging.

Ivy turned on Ron. Her eyes were as fiery as her red hair. "Well, it appears that some of you don't have as much respect for the dominant species of this world as the others." Ivy snuffed, threateningly. "Why don't we just show them what you can do, my darling." She cupped the flytrap's jaws like a mother to her child.

The Venomous Tentacula gave a low drone. The flytrap pointed its snout at Ron. A long feeler shot out suddenly from the plant's base and coiled around his ankles. With a yank, Ron was dropped to the floor. He was lifted into thin air by the tentacle, red hair flopping loosely from his head.

"GHA! What is this mad plant doing! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Ron yelled as he flailed his upper body about trying to break free. "Neville, what do I do?" Ron said facing Neville.

"I-I don't know. You were the one that was calling it a mad plant," Neville said, stating the facts.

"Hermione! Help me, please!"

"I don't know what to do Ron. This plant is one that you have to study first-hand, not in a book." Hermione said, clearly not liking the fact that she was leaving Ron helpless.

"I'm sure there's a reason that they call it a 'Venomous Tentacula' though…" Harry said, a grimace spreading across his face, trying to think of ways to help Ron.

Ron stopped his flailing and hung limply, as if petrified by a Basilisk. His eyes were wide and trained on Harry.

A pleased grin and giggle escaped from Ivy. She always enjoyed seeing people in terror, especially if it was one of her precious plants that was doing the terrorizing. "I think that will make you think twice about the nature of plants, won't it?" Her grin widened.

The Venomous Tentacula jaws clamped hungrily and the feeler began to lift Ron higher, towards its awaiting mouth.

Ron let out a loud yelp as he was pulled upwards. Ignoring what Harry said about the plant being venomous, Ron began to flail about again, his arms going wild. "I'll shut up! I'll never talk about the plants again no matter how stupid they are!"

Harry smacked himself on the head at what Ron said, thinking that he might as well have just said 'Kill me'.

Ivy frowned and raised a brow, at that point she was about to let the flytrap eat him, but then she remembered. "Fine, if that's how you put it…" She stamped her foot to the earth floor in front of the Venomous Tentacula and nodded to the horrified class.

The Venomous Tentacula looked at her in shock and hung its head in disappointment. Gradually, it set Ron back on the ground.

"You're lucky we have orders not to kill you all," Ivy glowered, her voice as venomous as the plant next to her, "Class dismissed."

Ron scrambled away from the plant as quickly as he could and walked over and stood behind Harry and Hermione, keeping distance between the plant and himself.

The bell rang in the distance signaling that students should either hurry up or be late for class. The trio's second class of the day was Defense Against the Dark Arts, so they Gryffindors all headed up to the third floor.

Walking in the door they all ran towards the front seats where the frightened Ravenclaws had neglected to sit. Apparently they didn't have the same experience the Gryffindors had during Potions. Just before the bell rang, the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs filed in and took the remaining seats in the classroom. Sitting down they looked up at the new professor. He was tall and lanky, and looked as if he belonged in a cornfield keeping the crows away. He was dressed like one would dress a scarecrow, complete with the burlap sack over his head, and the straw hat atop his head. There was an educated air about him, and even the Ravenclaws looked fearful to challenge his authority.

"Well, now that it appears that everyone has arrived," the scarecrow man strode from his place next to a tall window to stand in front of the silent class. "I would like to begin class by introducing myself as your new professor. Jonathan Crane, professor of Psychology, specializing in fears and phobias, you may call me Scarecrow."

"Excuse me, Sir, but if you are a psychologist, why did you happen to choose this class?" Hermione inquired. If this guy was a professional psychologist, she would have to be at the top of her game to make sure that she was not under his influence.

"As one that is as fascinated by fear as I. I found it only fitting to choose a class that would be the most relevant model to demonstrate fear's overpowering effects on the human psyche." The Scarecrow replied, unfazed by Hermione's question.

"So, you made a proposition that this would be the most fearful class because of the Dark Arts aspect of it. As I have come to understand it, certain students in this school are in a position where they are fascinated, or are rather just required to learn about them to protect themselves in a hazardous situation, such as Harry."

"Then I assume that I have chosen the logical selection in that some may be highly intrigued by my demonstrations, Miss?" Scarecrow replied confidently. It appeared that this girl was one of those a quick-witted book worms, always on the defense to hide their weakness.

"Yes, Sir, you have made the correct selection, if you are wishing to teach those who are interested in this particular subject. However, those who do not take up a liking to this particular subject are subject to become fearful of your teachings and may in fact stop showing up for class and force their grades into the ground." Hermione said, straining to keep the upper hand.

"Then it is my assumption, it is there own error that they did not attend my classes," Scarecrow folded his arms confidently. He knew he was gaining the upper hand but enjoyed this young lady's wit in her defense against him. "But it appears that you, as one who seems particularly interested in the realm of excelling, would enjoy being of assistance to me." Scarecrow gave a triumphant smirk, knowing that she could not refuse him if she valued her life or academics.

"Of course it is their own fault that they do not attend this class," Hermione said, slowly realizing that there was no way to get out of helping this teacher with whatever plan he had formulated in his burlap sack covered head. "Of course, I would be willing to help you, Sir," Hermione said slowly getting to her feet.

"Excellent," Scarecrow smiled and offered a guiding hand to the front of the class, standing with her face towards him, her profile to the awaiting students. "Now without further ado I would like to demonstrate the first of the numerous fears we shall cover." The Scarecrow threw a clawed hand out at Hermione and a red toxic gas poured from his fingertips to engulf her.

The class gasped as the red gas surrounded Hermione. Twenty-four sets of eyes watched Hermione, waiting to see what the gas would do.

Hermione let out an ear-shattering scream as she imagined McGonagall drawing a large 'F' on her three-foot piece of parchment she wrote for a homework assignment. A vision of her messing up a brewing in Potions was enough for her to start hyperventilating, moving backwards to grip the desk behind her for support.

Scarecrow could not help but release a maniacal chuckle and grin. It was exhilarating to see fear cripple even the best of minds. "Just as I have suspected. Here, class, we have a prime example of Atychiphobia, better known as the fear of failure. It was obvious that one such as her would have such a fear being so apprehensive by the thought of plummeting grades." Scarecrow watched in fascination, his every whim hanging on what Hermione would do next.

Hermione sank to the floor clutching her knees with a river of tears streaming down her face as she began to talk to herself. "There's no way I can help you Harry! I just can't! There's no way to defeat the Dark Lord! No, Harry, don't go!" Hermione reached out helplessly with one hand. "Don't you get it Ron? We can't help him! We have no where to look! They burnt the library down during their last attack! That was our only source of information at this point!"

With that said, Malfoy had had enough. He burst out laughing and fell backwards in his chair clutching his stomach. This was just too good to be true.

Hermione's head shot up when Malfoy fell off his chair. "HARRY!" Hermione yelled running over to Malfoy and pulling him close to her. "I'm sorry, Harry! I should've been there to help you! I left you all alone, and now you're dead! Oh, what will Ron think? I told him not to come and help you because there was nothing we could do!" Hermione, in her distress, placed her forehead against Malfoy's and his face paled, if that was at all possible. He had begun to shake with disgust as Granger clung to him, crying like a five year old.

"Marvelous!" Scarecrow exclaimed, never before had he seen so must insight to a single mind in just one episode of fear. The fact Malfoy found it amusing delighted him even more, along with his small revelation of another fear. "Another case of an acute phobia, Haptephobia, otherwise known as the fear of being touched!" He exclaimed with unbridled glee. "It seems to be just one of certain dislike amongst character…" Scarecrow said more to himself, his eyes intense with obsession.

Malfoy pushed Hermione away from him and scrambled behind his chair, putting distance between himself and Hermione. Harry jumped out of his seat and walked over to Hermione, lightly pulling her to her feet. The rest of the class watched with unnerving silence as Harry led Hermione back to her seat between Ron and himself. Once they were seated Draco sat down in his seat and tried to maintain a cool exterior.

"Wonderful, simply superb," Scarecrow looked well pleased by the demonstration and the reaction of the class. "The effects of my fear toxin will subside momentarily, until then, class is dismissed."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way from the Great Hall to the first floor for transfiguration. Lunch was uneventful, unless you count what went on between Harry, Ron, and Hermione. She came to her senses a few moments after they had left Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Hermione asked Ron and Harry what had happened, because she couldn't remember duration of the lesson. They both exchanged a glance and as they all sat down at the table, the truth came out. Hermione received each detail of the experience she couldn't remember. When they reached the part about her running over and clinging to Malfoy she almost screamed. Luckily, Harry's hand covered her mouth in time and it was muffled. During lunch, no one saw Malfoy, and all of the Slytherin's that had just came from Defense Against the Dark Arts class said that he was probably getting a shower and trying to rid himself of the filth that covered him.

As they reached the door to Transfiguration in the first floor corridor, Hermione was unnaturally quiet. She pushed open the door and walked in, sitting in the middle of the classroom, having problems in classes in which she sat in the very back and when she sat in the very front. All of the Gryffindors turned to face her. Once they made eye contact with her they turned away, grinning.

Behind the professor's desk in a long back chair, a man with a rounded fanciful face and sandy blonde hair that laid untidily underneath an enormous top hat. He wore a long blue trench coat over a high-collared lime green shirt and a huge bow tie. His eyes were dazed above a large nose and he hummed a whimsical tune to himself, unaware of the filling classroom before him.

The bell rang and everyone in the classroom was seated and watching the teacher sitting in the chair at the front of the room. Many eyebrows were raised at this man's actions. The humming that was being emitted from him was the only noise that was made in the classroom, next to the bustling coming from Hermione as she pulled out all the necessary items to properly takes notes in the classroom environment.

The man then sprung to life from his seat and walked in front of his desk, a content smile tracing across his thin lips. "Good day, good day, one and all. I would like to welcome you to a class of wonder. I am you guide, the Mad Hatter." The man gave a diminutive bow and gestured to himself.

_"Class of wonder? What was this mad-man playing at?" _The class wondered as they watched the man with somewhat wide eyes.

"I'm agreeing with the first part of your name. You are _completely_ mad," Ron said in a half-joking tone.

The Mad Hatter did not notice Ron's comment. In fact, he was completely unaware of the stares he was receiving from the class. "If I may have a volunteer?" He gazed over the class, hands clasped mystically. "Why not you, young man?" Hatter motioned to Harry.

"Me? Uh, no, no I'd rather-" Harry started but the rest of the class began to chant his name, no one wanted to be volunteered. Harry let out a lung full of air then said, "All right, all right, I'll do it. You happy now?" He asked the rest of the class. They all nodded at him as he walked toward the front of the classroom.

"Splendid, my dear boy!" The Mad Hatter motioned to the empty space next to him. "If you would, please?"

Cautiously, Harry walked up and stood in the space that the Mad Hatter had previously pointed to. Looking out at the class, he quietly gulped, not knowing what to expect on behalf of his previous experiences that day.

"Now, if I may, your name?" He asked casually.

"Harry, Harry Potter," Harry said dubiously, not used to the fact that someone didn't know his name.

"Well then Mr. Potter, I would just like you to relax. This won't hurt a bit," Hatter took a step behind Harry and slipped a card with the number 10/6 behind Harry's ear.

Harry visibly relaxed and then his eyes went away. He seemed to be staring at an unknown place, only visible to himself, on the back wall.

Hatter let out a quirky smile and stepped away from Harry. "Now my dear Harry," Hatter reached over to a cloth covered table and gave the fabric a yank to reveal a complete tea set including a toaster for bread, "I believe its time for tea…"

As if he were a zombie, under the will of a master, Harry walked over and sat down in the chair at the table. He proceeded to lift the teapot and pour the steaming liquid into the cup placed in front of him. Then he lifted the cream vessel and poured a slight amount into the cup. After that he spooned two teaspoons of sugar into the cup and stirred. He placed the cup to his lips with his pinkie high in the air.

Mad Hatter smiled widely. "And now the toast, if you would…"

Harry placed the toast in the toaster and pushed down the handle on the side. Then he leaned his head on his hand and sighed. "So how are you today?" Harry said to the toaster, who apparently answered. "That's great. So what's it like being a toaster anyway? I bet it must be boring just making toast your whole life. I can't stand making toast this long, but I never have been the patient kind. You have a strange accent. Is it Toastish? I've never been to Toasty, is it nice there? I heard that you specialize in grain products such as breads, strudels, and bagels." He stopped talking as the toast popped up with a _clunk._ "Well that was a truly invigoration conversation. Do stop by again sometime."

The Mad Hatter was giggling with joy. He loved having people under his total control. They did whatever he wished and did not even realize it. Suddenly the distant bells tolled for the end of classes and he quickly snatched the card from behind Harry's ear. "You are free to go…" He remarked to the class.


	8. Where is Batman?

**Chapter 8: Where is Batman?**

"Well, if you two would learn to worry more about the clock and less about how much sleep you're getting, we would've been out of here already!" Hermione hissed as they made their way under the Invisibility Cloak. They heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and all three of them froze. Neville walked down the stairs, picked up a forgotten book on a chair, and walked back upstairs. Hermione let out an audible sigh as she heard the door to the dormitory close.

"See?" She hissed in a dangerously low tone. "If we would've been out of here, we would've have come that close to being spotted! Now let's go!" She said and led the way out of the portrait hole. Silently, except for the occasional scuff of a shoe across the ragged stone floor, the trio made their way to the third floor. When they arrived at the statue of the One-eyed Witch Statue and Harry tapped it, quietly saying _Dissendium_. They crept in the passageway and stripped themselves of the cloak for the walk ahead of them. After an hour of winding through the underground tunnel, they arrived at the secret door that was the entrance to Honeydukes.

They went up through the trap door and then went up to the ground floor of the shop. After making sure they were alone, they walked out into the deserted shop. With a quick glance around, the trio stepped out in the deserted streets of Hogsmeade, and grinned at one another. They had made it. They were home free now.

"Ready?" Harry asked, going to a hiding place where he had kept two Firebolts since they had formulated the plan.

"Ready," the other two said firmly, smiles plastered on their faces.

"Sneak, sneak, sneak," Harley tipped toed into the common room of the Gryffindor tower from the portrait hole. She made cartwheels around the comfy sofas and tables of the room, carelessly doing handstands and flips.

Snape walked in slowly behind her, seeming to be gliding instead of walking, because of the way his robes billowed around him. "Can we just go in, check on everybody, and the get out of this godforsaken tower?"

Harley ceased her carefree acrobatics and looked at Snape, "What do yah think I'm doing, Snips?" She put her fists on her hips and gave Snape a look of annoyance. "You just take the fella's and I'll take the girls. They might get a little spooked by havin' you in their bedroom!" Harley giggled and skipped up the staircase to the girl's dormitory.

Snape rolled his eyes skyward and walked swiftly up the staircase to the boys' dorm. The first through sixth years were all sleeping peacefully, much to Snape's dismay. When he reached the seventh year boys dorm, he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. Upon further inspection of the room, he noticed that both Potter and Weasley's beds were empty. Growling about incompetent students, Snape made his way back down the staircase and into the common room.

"Wee!" Harley somersaulted down the girls' staircase, and planted herself squarely in front of Snape. "All heads accounted for, except one!" She exclaimed with glee. "There's one empty bed in the seventh dormitory."

"And I'm missing two. So the Golden Trio has found a way to escape, what a shame. I was looking forward to see them get tortured by another baking class," He said with a sly look towards Harley. "Now, off to report to Joker," he said and, with a swish of his black robes, he was gone.

Harry and Ron mounted the two Firebolts and, rather apprehensively, Hermione sat in front of Ron on his Firebolt.

"Hermione, are you going to be okay going this far?" Ron said, wrapping and arm around Hermione's waist to better steady her as they lifted off the ground.

"Well it's a little late to turn back now isn't it?" Hermione said, her knuckles turning white from gripping the broom so hard.

"Yeah, but it didn't hurt to check did it?" Ron said, smiling.

"Will you two love birds shut up and fly already?" Harry said, hovering five feet above them. "At the rate you two are going, we may get there before the turn of the century.

"But that's three years from now…" Ron said a bemused expression scarring his freckled face.

"Precisely, he's being a smart aleck. He knows when the turn of the century is," Hermione said glaring in Harry's direction.

"So how long do you think it will take us to get there?" Ron said, trying to keep the conversation going.

"If we're lucky, we'll be there by dinner," Harry said trying to push back the thought that none of them had remembered to get any provisions before they left.

It was a quiet night in Gotham. Batman surveyed the streets below from his post on one of the many skyscrapers that cut the city skyline. His slim, black binoculars scanned the deserted streets.

Nothing, not so much as a robbery over the past week, Batman knew that the worst of the Arkham Rogues were somewhere. There was no possible way any villain could have resisted breaking the peace for this long. No, he knew they were wreaking havoc someplace.

After the first two days of peace, he had paid a visit to the asylum to find only the lower security villains still in their cells. Mr. Freeze, the Clock King, Baby Doll, and the Ventriloquist were all slumbering as he roamed the Rogue wing. He noted that the other cells were vacant of any signs of their occupants. The Joker's card games and and laff-pranks were gone, Poison Ivy's plants had vanished. The question remained, where had they gone?

"I can't believe how quiet this wing is," an orderly said to a doctor as they opened the door at the end of the hall

Batman ducked into the shadows of an empty cell. He leaned close to the door, hanging on every word the two said.

"Yes," the voice of Doctor Bartholomew came quietly. "I've even received word from Doctor Marvolo in London that they are making great progress."

"Progress?" The orderly said, surprise filling his voice.

"Yes," Bartholomew replied, "He says that each one has made great improvements in giving up their self images of criminals. He says that even the Joker has given up his persona."

"Amazing," the two men reached the other end of the corridor and exited through the other door.

Batman sank back against the wall. His mind was trying to process everything that he had heard. The most infamous criminals in the history of Gotham had been moved to an insane asylum in London. It was not the fact of being in London that made Batman think, it was the fact that the rehabilitation was working. The fact was near impossible to believe.

Batman looked solemnly around the cell. Against the far wall, carvings had been etched into the painted stone. A typical anti-Batman logo was standard on any Rogue wall but below it was numerous carving of cartoons and smiley faces. A heart with the word "Harley" was next to a wide toothed smiley face that stuck its tongue out mockingly. He was in the Joker's old cell.

With that Batman had silently departed the asylum, leaving the remaining Rogues to finish their rehabilitation without the chaos of the missing inmates.

Since then thoughts of a life without Batman had passed through his mind regularly. He wanted to believe it, but a part of him kept urging him to dawn his cape and cowl each night and patrol the city.

The Dark Knight dropped his binoculars to his side and looked out over the rooftops of the city. In the moonlight, he could see every detail of the buildings. Out of the corner of his eye, two black shadows were flying against the stars.

Batman watched, masked brow furrowing with confusion, as the shadows turned and circled high above Gotham. They were side by side and came to hover in mid air. The first shadow began to descend and the second and larger followed. It looked as if they meant to come down in Gotham Central Park.

Batman replaced his binoculars in his utility belt. Reaching out with his Bat-Grapple, he swung in the direction of the shadows and the park.

"Harry, are you sure that this is the right place?" Hermione asked, dubiously.

"Yes, Hermione, I'm positive," Harry said, for the umpteenth time. "I followed that girl's directions as clear as crystal."

"Which girl was that again?" Ron asked, clearly not paying attention to what happened since yesterday. Flying for a day will do that to you.

"The girl that we met in that small town. Sky Lark was it?" Harry said.

"Oh, yea, her. She seemed to get extremely overexcited at the mention of Batman, didn't she?" Hermione inquired.

"Maybe she's his stalker?" Ron said concentration evident on his face.

"Or maybe she's just smart…" Hermione said.

"Well you would certainly know," Ron said as they made their descent.

"Will you two ever agree on anything?" Harry said as they landed.

"NO!" they shouted together at Harry.

"Well, that's progress," Harry said rolling his eyes, looking around at how magnificent the park looked in the rising moon.

Batman swung silently into a nearby tree. Closer now, he could see that it was three teenagers holding broomsticks. His first thought was that Halloween had come early in Gotham.

"So, where do we go from here?" Hermione asked, ignoring Harry's previous comment.

"To be honest about it, I don't know," Harry said, and the two of them turned to look at Ron.

"What, like I know where we're going?" Ron said, looking at them as if both of them were stupid.

Harry let out a deep sigh, "Well, I guess we should walk around and see if anyone knows where to find him."

"Almost makes you wish Stalker-girl were here doesn't it?" Ron asked lightly.

"In a certain way, yeah it does," Harry said as they walked on, Ron and himself with the Firebolts resting on their shoulders.

A few people were scattered through the park. There was one girl sitting on a bench with white earbud headphones in her ears, her fingers working quickly on the buttons of her Ipod. The trio walked up to her and she pulled one of the buds out of her ear.

"Can I help you?" The girl said. She couldn't be much older than they were, and her blonde hair fell into her eyes. She eyed the Firebolts with curiosity.

"Yes, we were wondering if you could tell us where to find Batman at?" Hermione asked politely.

After getting over the shock of Hermione's accent, the girl stated, "Batman? You want to know where to find Batman? Have fun with that one! No one knows where to find him!" The girl said then burst out laughing.

Hermione just glared and walked away briskly, muttering a quick 'thank you', even though she thought the girl didn't deserve it.

"Lighten up, Hermione. Maybe she didn't know and didn't want to seem stupid," Ron said. Though, after talking to several people who gave the same reaction as the teenager, Ron was beginning to wonder if they'd ever find Batman.

Batman watched as the three teenagers asked the passersby's about how they could locate him. From what he could here they were from England. The trio must be in need of some kind of assistance if they had come all the way from Britain to Gotham to find him. Then it hit him.

Batman dropped stealthily into the gathering of brush below, not wanting to bring attention to himself too soon. He watched as the girl looked around in desperation, she seemed the cleverest of the three-some. He reached into his belt and pulled out a Batarang. With the skill of many long night fights, he launched the Batarang at the tree closest to the young lady.

Hermione heard something hit the tree near her and she spun around quickly.  
"Hermione, what's wrong with you?" Harry said, following Hermione's lead and looking behind them.

"I heard something hit the tree," Hermione said slowly, still trying to find the cause of the noise.

Batman looked around, for the moment the three were alone in the park. Without a word he stepped out of the brush and onto the path.

Harry saw a dark figure step out of the bushes and he instinctually stepped in front of Hermione and Ron.

"Who are you?" Harry inquired.

"You're looking for me," Batman said in his sinister, dark tone. "Why?"

"If I may, Sir. These oddly dressed people, along with the Death Eaters, have taken over our school in Europe. They locked up our professors in a dungeon and we snuck down to that dungeon one night. Professor McGonagall, our Headmistress, said that you were the only one that could help us with this. We need your help to get these people out of our school so we can get back to our normal curriculum." Hermione stated clearly.

Batman said nothing at first. Did this girl just say "Death Eaters"? And who were the "oddly dressed people"? "Who?" was all that he could say.

"The Death Eaters, Voldemort's followers. You've probably never heard of them. Then there are the others. The man that was leading the group in the conquest of our school was a man with shocking green hair, and liquid paper white face, and he also wears a purple suit all the time. Would you happen to know him?" Hermione replied.

"Joker…" Batman knew that the Joker rehabilitating was too far-fetched to believe. "And the others too…" He calmly pressed a button on his belt.

"So you do know him. Do you have any idea how to get him out of the school without getting any of the students hurt?" Harry said, the last part was just a reassurance for himself. He'd seen far too much destruction in the past.

Batman said nothing. A low rumbling came from the nearby street. A long black car pulled up to the gateway of the park. The roof of the vehicle slid back to reveal the driver and passenger seats along with a glowing center console. He walked over to the side of the Batmobile and looked back at the three. "Get in."

The three eyed the vehicle with speculative looks. After a few moments Hermione, using her Gryffindor courage walked over and got in. The other two followed, pausing for a moment to pick up their dropped Firebolts.

Batman took his seat in the driver's seat while the other three squeezed into the passenger seat. The roof slid back over, closing the entrance. Batman pulled three blindfolds out of a pocket on the side of his seat and handed them to the Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "Put these on…"

* * *

Jester's Note: Ha ha, yes did everyone catch the camio? I sure hope so... If not, shame... Oh, and just to clear things up... I stalk the Joker. Batman is more of an obsessive hobbie... Thanks Candles... 


	9. Inside the Batcave

**Chapter 9: Inside the Batcave**

Batman drove in silence across Gotham. He was not about to take any chances on the three teenagers in the passenger seat of the Batmobile finding out where he was taking them. He was also attempting to sort the events that lead him to have the robed trio and two very old fashioned broomstick in his car. Had the Joker and the other Rogues taken over a boarding school in Europe? Their accents were real. Batman had traveled enough to know when a person was faking their voice. He was quite sure that she had said "dungeon" and "Headmistress". The latter was not as puzzling as the first. Did they live at some sort of castle? And who were the "Death Eaters" and "Voldemort"? Some how he actually believed this hair-brained story.

"Alright," Batman said breaking the silence. "Who are you three?" He decided to start with the basics.

"I'm Hermione Granger," Hermione said, rather happily.

"Ron Weasley," he said in a tone that suggested boredom.

"Harry Potter," Harry said, still trying to figure out where they were going.

Their names seemed harmless enough. "Now tell me about this school…"

"Well," Hermione started, "We attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Term started a week ago, and during the Sorting Ceremony, this man with shocking green hair and a purple suit, the one that you call, 'Joker', strode in after a precision of Death Eaters, You-Know-Who's followers. Then the man stood at the head of the room and said that he was taking over as Headmaster and then proceeded to have the professors taken away by the Death Eaters. The rest of the week went on pretty normally. One night the three of us snuck out under Harry's Invisibility Cloak and went down to the dungeons, following the Marauder's Map of course. We found our professors and explained to them what was going on. Our Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, told us to come and see you, and that you would know what to do. To top this all off, the people that seem to follow this 'Joker' person, are teaching our classes and ruining them in my opinion," Hermione said this all very quickly.

Batman raised a masked brow, "So, you're witches?"

"I'm no witch!" Ron said indignantly. "How stupid can you be?"

"Ron, he doesn't live in the Wizarding world! These two are wizards, and I am a witch, yes," Hermione said, hoping Ron's temper wouldn't flare.

Batman frowned. This kid had a lot of nerve calling him stupid in his own car. "And you three want my help to get rid of Joker and the others…"

"Yes, Sir. McGonagall said that you were the one that could help us," Hermione said, her head bobbing up and down as she nodded.

Batman glanced over at the blindfolded trio. Ahead the stone bridge into the Batcave swung down and he drove into the cave, parking on the platform above the bottomless cave. "You can take those off now…" He said opening the roof and hopping out.

"We've told you why we're here, now could you tell us where we are now?" Hermione asked, hoping to sound polite.

"Home…" Batman walked up to the huge Batcomputer and started to pull up records on the transfer of the Rogues to London.

"Master Bruce?" A white-haired man with a British accent wearing a butler's suit was standing at the top of a long stone staircase. "Oh my, I didn't know you were bringing home company."

Batman shook his head at the computer and looked from his long time friend to the three. "Alfred, why don't you show these three the kitchen and get them something to eat while I check something."

"Very well, sir," Alfred looked at Harry, Ron and Hermione with a raised brow at their broomsticks.

Harry and Ron's gazes followed the butler's and they saw the Firebolts. Looking at each other and shrugging they followed Hermione, who was following the butler, up the stairway.

"It's not often that Master Bruce brings guests home from his work," Alfred said, deciding it was all right to use Batman's real name if he deemed appropriate to let the trio into the upper mansion. When he reached the top of the staircase he pushed the back of the clock that guarded the entrance to the Batcave aside and let the three pass into the large study beyond.

Harry studied his surroundings carefully. He'd been in enough tight situations to know that you need to know your ground in order to fight on them, even though he didn't think that there were any reasons. Now matter how hard he tried to convince himself of that, the more he realized that they knew nothing about Batman. He let out a small sigh as they walked into the study.

Alfred let the clock slide back into place as Harry, Ron and Hermione walking out into the study. "Why did Master Bruce bring you here?" Alfred asked leading them out the study and down the hall to a modest and cleanly kitchen.

The trio followed the butler into the kitchen, all of them stopping in the doorway.

"He brought us here because we need his help with a matter in Europe," Hermione said, she had been brooding over the fact that she straight out told Batman that they were of the Wizarding World.

"It's a matter regarding our school, Hogwarts. The Joker and his people have taken over it, and we asked Batman to help us remove them," Hermione said, trusting the butler.

"Yes, apparently they moved into London, most people haven't heard of Hogwarts, don't worry yourself over it," Harry said looking around the kitchen.

Alfred raised a brow and turned from the counter with a plateful of sandwiches. "Well, help yourselves." He offered them the plate.

Ron, being who he is, immediately reached out and grabbed a sandwich. Harry followed his lead, though he ate slower. Hermione was the last to grab a sandwich.

"Thank you," she said, and began to take small bites as Ron grabbed for a second sandwich.

A click was heard over a small black radio on the wall. "Alfred?" came Batman's voice, "Can you bring our guests back down to the Batcave?"

Alfred pressed the button next to the speaker, "Right away, sir…" He handed the plate to Harry and lead the way out of the kitchen.

Harry took the plate of sandwiches and quickly finished his own sandwich. The three of them went at a hurried pace following Alfred out of the kitchen.

Alfred led them back into the study and down the staircase behind the grandfather clock. At the bottom of the stairs, Batman was sitting at the Batcomputer, his fingers typing at the keyboard.

"Harry," Batman said when they reached the bottom, "Do you know this name?" He enlarged the words on the screen, "Louise Marvolo".

Harry studied the words on the screen. "Marvolo was Voldemort's middle name when he still went by the name of 'Tom'," Harry said trying to piece all of this together.

"This was the name of the head doctor of the London Insane Asylum," Batman pressed a key to bring up another document. "I says here that the asylum had been close for over nine years until it was purchased by one, Louise Marvolo. It was said he paid in full, nearly a half million in U. S. dollars in cash…" Batman looked at Harry. "Your Voldemort is a very wealthy man…"

"That doesn't make any sense though," Hermione said, looking thoughtful, "How does Voldemort have that much money? A half-million United States dollars would be over one hundred thousand galleons. From what Harry told us, he spent most of his time three years ago wandering the country with Wormtail. One hundred thousands galleons wouldn't be a light load to carry around. My guess is that this is one of his Death Eaters, one who flaunts his fortune," she finished, looking imploringly at Harry.

Harry's brow creased as he looked at Hermione, trying to figure out what she was saying. "Malfoy," he said after a few moments, "Lucius Malfoy."

"My thoughts exactly," Hermione said with a short nod.

Batman looked at the two. "Then it would seem that if we find this Lucius Malfoy, we might just find your Voldemort… Once they're gone, the Death Eaters," Batman stretched his memory to sort the facts, "will flee and leave the Rogues to fend for themselves…"

Hermione and Ron exchanged a glance, looking for Death Eaters wasn't on their 'favorite things to do' list.

"Well, what are we sitting around chatting for? Shall we go?" Harry said, looking as if his mind was set.

"Alfred," Batman looked up at his old friend standing by the stairs, "Prepare the Batwing for a flight across the Atlantic." He stood from his seat at the Batcomputer.

"I'll be sure to pack your extra ensemble…" Alfred turned on his heel and strode into the chambers of the cave.

"The Batwing, Sir? Is that the thing that we came here in?" Hermione asked looking at Batman.

"No," Batman walked over to an opening in the cave, leading down to another chamber. He flipped a switch to reveal a sleek, black, jet plain whose wingspan was shaped like huge bat wings. "That's the Batwing…"

"Wicked," Ron said looking at the Batwing.

"You are aware that we're flying in this thing, right, Ronald?" Hermione said looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Can't we just fly back on the Firebolts?" Ron said, paling slightly.

"I'm pretty sure this way's faster," Hermione said, grinning now.

"I'm pretty sure that you two should stop bickering," Harry said, stepping in between them.

Batman looked at the three. "Even if you would fly those things," glancing at the old broomsticks, "I sure I could not fit on a broomstick…" He said frankly, still finding it odd to have a witch and two wizards in the Batcave.

"Well how about this. You fly in, _that thing_, and I'll fly back on the Firebolt?" Ron said, hope evident in his voice.

"For the last time, Ronald, no!" Hermione said slapping him on the arm.

"Can we just leave before these two start a fist fight with each other?" Harry said eyeing the two of them skeptically.

Batman looked at Harry. He was thinking along the same lines. "Alfred?"

"Finished, Sir," Alfred called, appearing from behind the Batwing.

Batman looked back at the battling Ron and Hermione, "Let's get going then…"

The three of them clambered into the Batwing.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ron said looking at Batman.

"I'm sure no matter what he says you're going to ask him anyway," Hermione said rolling her eyes.

Batman gave an inward sigh of irritation as he climbed into the pilot's seat of the Batwing, "If you must…"

"Why do you wear your underwear on the outside? I mean, I don't see your reasoning behind this. Not to mention the fact that most men wear boxers. You're not gay are you?" Ron inquired, continuing to look at Batman.

Batman's face dropped. Who in their right minds would ask something so random or offensive as wearing one's underwear on the outside? Then he realized, these kids where not in their "right minds", not even close. "I don't know, and no. Are you three ready or not?" Batman replied, resisting the urge to hang them outside Gotham Police Headquarters on his way to London and feeling quite self-conscious.

"Well, that's a relief," Ron said, visibly relaxing in his seat, "Still doesn't make any sense though," he said shaking his head.

"Oh, just give it a rest," Hermione said rolling her eyes skyward.

"No, I'm trying to figure something out, without your help, for once in my rather short life," Ron snapped back at her.

Batman shook his head slightly as the roof of the jet closed the cabin. It was going to be a long flight.

* * *

Jester's Note: Sry folks but Ron's question was just too good to keep away... This was a bit of a down chapter... Candles and I have some real comedy coming up including the first ever Hogsmeade Fudge Fest!


End file.
